Staggered Revelation

I set my alarm at 04:30am. I was planning to attend the first Sunday mass for the Lenten season.

04:15. Mom woke me up and asked me if I will be coming with them to church. With eyes half open, I told mom that I’m coming but I asked for 15 minutes more.

I rose from bed and took a bath at 04:30. After twenty minutes, we were already inside the parish church.

My prime intention to hear mass today was to ask for strength and courage from the heavens. I promised myself to come out to family, now that I have already a new job and that I am nearing the age of 30.

Mom and Dad always go to church on Sunday just to pray for their prodigal daughter and Baby Drew’s health and safety. I could sense that deep within them, they wanted their prodigal daughter to amend her life and to correct whatever wrong she’s done. I could still see that they’re hurt and that they still haven’t fully recovered from the emotional turmoil of last year.

It made me sad, seeing them suffer from the pain that my sister gave them. And so I lowered my head and prayed to the heavens, hoping that my revelation would not lead to something as devastating as that of the prodigal daughter’s.

After lunch, my parents went out to visit my grandmother at Capitol Hills. My brother Lester also went along as he was meeting up some soccer playmates after. My sister Ellen and I were left alone in the house with the dogs Frodo and Harry.

And so I set up the computer and opened my blog entry last January 2. I called my sister and told her to read the entry. As she began to read my blog, I went downstairs to the living room and watched the Tyra Banks show at the ETC channel. Tyra’s guest was the Oscar-nominated Jennifer Hudson.

I waited patiently for Ellen to finish reading it and come down and tell me anything she would like to say. I was very nervous the whole time because I didn’t know what to expect from her after.

I texted my sister Christine and asked if she’s in her house. No reply from her yet. When the Tyra Banks show ended, I switched off the tube and went up to the room.

I saw her face, ashen but quite unsure what to say. I looked into her face but she smiled. She didn’t say anything other than “I’m not yet through reading all your entries.”

Then Christine texted back. ” Yup y man?”

I replied, “I hv sOmething to tel u. Major issue jud.” Then I turned back to Ellen and said, “It’s okay. So how do you feel?”

She just shook her head in sheer surprise by the news.

“So when did you realize it?”

“It’s way back in college. Several years ago,” I answered.

Then came Christine’s second message: As in? D ko kalakaw kaRon kay plantsa pa gera n slyp c arnel. Translation: Really? I can’t leave now coz Gera (the househelp) is ironing clothes and Arnel (the husband) is asleep.

Ellen was speechless from then on. I knew the news had not sunk in yet. But she was totally cool with it. Then I said, “I’ve been wanting to tell you ever since. I was supposed to reveal it last October but then Beverly went home pregnant and shocked us all. Mom and dad are still recovering from it. I thought that it would be best to postpone my revelation.”

“They are still in the process of healing. The pain is still fresh, they may not be able to take it very well,” Ellen said.

“I know, it’s very difficult. I’m confused by it all. I don’t know what to do.”

“What? You’re confused? Are you sure?” she jokingly said. I remembered that she once said “Be cool, but don’t freeze!” when I was in college. So I smiled back.

“Of course I’m not confused. I know who I am. It’s just so hard to find the right timing. I’ve been waiting long enough to say it”.

Then Christine arrived. I opened the main door for her and asked her go up to the room and to read the blog.

I patiently waited again. She fell silent. She asked who The Capricorn Bear Takeshi was. I told her it’s ME. She fell silent again.

When she’s done reading, she stood up and turned to me. Just as shocked as Ellen was. She thought that the news was about me getting a certain girl pregnant. I thought she sensed my homosexuality early on. Christine was speechless also.

Then she uttered, “It shouldn’t be an issue. I don’t have any problem with it. It’s who you are. I’m more worried about mom and dad. I don’t know how they will take it.”

“So when should I tell it?” I asked.

“Mom and dad are not open-minded. Unlike us, it’s not an issue at all. With them, they have a notion that if you’re gay, they would think that you like to wear dresses and make-up. They are very traditional. They would be very upset. But if you want to tell them, you must first give them enough time to recover from last year.”

My shoulders fell down in sadness. I fell in silence. There’s logic to what my sisters had said. But when should be the proper time to finally reveal it to my folks?

At least Ellen and Christine took my revelation well. I was very thankful that I finally came out to them. Half of the mission had been accomplished. The most important half remains to be announced.  

The Beat Family KTV

I flew back to Cebu last night after my two-week training in Makati. The following week would be the start of my career in sales and marketing and as I see it, it’s going to be a very hectic week. In fact, my schedule’s going to be tight until the 2nd week of March.

But most importantly, this would be the best time to tell my family about ME.

I said to myself that the best time to come out is when I’m employed once again and that it should be before I reach 30. My partner would always ask me WHEN I’m going to tell my family about US and I know that I kept on postponing it because of fear and basically because I don’t know how to say it. I am really scared of what my coming out would lead to.

And that would be my mission over the weekend.

Then I got a call from Biba last night. One of my very close friends in college recently flew in from Taiwan and she wanted us to meet again before she return to Tanjay, Negros Oriental the following day.

I was a bit tired from my travel back home. But then Biba told me that they’re trying a KTV in ‘uptown’ Cebu. I didn’t give it a second thought so I said I’ll be there in 20 minutes.

I was not familiar with the name of that particular KTV so when I got off at the Abacus Building complex along Gen. Maxilom Avenue, it took me 5 minutes more just to ask around for THE BEAT FAMILY KTV. Don’t ask me about the story behind the name because I don’t know but yes, it sounded so OFF. Anyways.

At THE BEAT FAMILY KTV, Room 20, I finally met Raquel, the girl who worked for 2 years in Taiwan. I called her MASTER because that’s what she would also call me and Biba during our chem eng days.

Master and Biba were my group mates for a thesis in our fifth year. The thesis year was one of the best times we had together because first of all, one of us had a huge crush on our thesis adviser. Second, we also had a blast with the chromium adsorption from a Sargassum siliquosom,  a local seaweed, using a long and tediuos process that produced a fairly significant result. Lastly, our thesis presentation and defense was very unique. Details of which is best explained verbally.

I also met Cherryl, our close friend now happily married and works for an American firm in the export processing zone.

Back in college Cherryl was into alternative rock and some metal stuff. She still is into those music genre as she sang with full abandon with a bottle of Red Horse at hand. She’s a deep thinker and was often misunderstood as such, the way that we misunderstood the laws of thermodynamics and the azeotropic state of the vapor-liquid conditions.

We used to be amused by her because she had “praning attack” once in a while. She shouts and her nose perspires like crazy when she’s under attack. We often used her nickname “Choloks” whenever we feel like it.

In one of our overnight beach parties, Choloks gave out message cards and “lighted” candles to everyone. At the KTV, we thought she’d give out candles and cards once again. She just pulled out 2 sticks of pork and chicken barbecue from her bag. Hmmm.

On to the fun shots at THE BEAT

The guy on the right is Cholok’s husband Sigfried. He just dropped by to fetch her. Except for me, everyone had a Red Horse overload. I couldn’t recall the song I sang during this shoot either. Hmmm.

Please don’t ask me. Ask Choloks why she had those two-finger up signs in all of her photos. Peace? Ate Vi? Two times? Beats me.

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s pause for a minute of silence. Biba, will you kindly lead our opening prayer???

All the good songs were already picked so I ended up singing an AEGIS song. “Sintaaaaahhhhhh! Nananaginip ng gi…..”

This one was serious. I sang The Man Who Sold The World. But will I be able to sell Merck products in this side of the world? We’ll see. But don’t worry. I’m not going to use this photo when I do my client rounds next week.

A plus tard!

Une Semaine Au Travail

It’s been a week since I joined Merck Inc. and I had never been that busy in my entire taxpaying life. My first 5 days at the 24th floor of GT Tower had been extremely busy. As in no time for blogging.

Monday:

Briefing on the Team Target and Responsibilites with my immediate supervisor. Orientation on Sales Forecasting and Assessment of Targets. Head Office Orientation on ISO and Quality System. My primary concern - accomodation for the next 2 weeks.

Well they put me in a dorm near Makati’s Tanay and J.P. Rizal streets. They got me a room at the fourth floor with a room mate who was not even around at the time I got there. I wasn’t able to get inside the assigned room because the geeky CPA-of-a-roommate took the only copy of keys for duplication.

I didn’t wait for the guy. I’m not at all interested to meet him. I was pissed because I had to meet my partner in Jupiter Street for dinner but this major hurdle got me soooo angry and hungry. But I asked the caretaker instead to get me even just a studio room so I could leave some of my things and leave the dorm before I decide to eat her alive.

Tuesday:

Orientation on the PMS or FOCALE as a viable tool for appraisal and improvement. This was a brief seminar on identifying the key result areas with set objectives or targets to attain or achieve for a particular professional cylce. In other words, it was something about identifying specific skills which I think must be developed or improved and setting a corresponding concrete step or plan of action.

The seminar was pretty serious though but in one of the work activities, I was so determined to win and was rewarded with a chocolate bar. The other highlight was the conversation in French between me and the training manager. The conversation was not that much though. It was just a few exchange of simple sentences which my officemates thought were so interesting to hear.

Wednesday:

Valentine’s Day!!!

And the day was spent just listening to a product management officer talk on my assigned strategic business units and business fields. This was the day when I get to experience information overload.

She talked about cytology and staining and the identification of microorganisms and pathogens in the human system. She even discussed on the methods of quantifying parameters either through chromatography or spectrophotometry. In another strategic business unit, she explained the monitoring techniques used by a lot of industries that belong to the food and beverage sector. In other words, she unloaded quite a truck-full of information on me.

C’est la fete des coeurs!!! After work, I bought a mocha-nut cake, went home and shared the cake with my partner.

Thursday:

I was in the warehouse for almost the entire day. If Merck’s Head Office is in Makati CBD, the warehouse is in Pasig. Between them, the distance could be translated into 2 hours of travel time.

I woke up at 6:30 am and was already commuting an hour after. But I got there at almost 9:30am. The warehouse dispatcher even thought that I was not going to show up. But she was surprised to see me when I entered her office panting and breathing heavily.

The warehouse was like 3 blocks away from the main entrance of the Pasig Central Business Park. I don’t have a car of my own so I had no other choice but to brisk walk my way to the office. The lecture of almost 2 and a half hours was almost as equal to the time I spent commuting from EDSA CENTRAL to Manggahan, Pasig.

Thursday is the forecasting meeting day for Team Beethoven. This team handles the clinical and industrial product accounts of the depots and dealers from Luzon to Mindanao and basically the entire country. Team Beethoven is being headed by a much experienced employee. But she was not able to conduct the meeting that day because of a client call.

Friday:

Dress-down day. People reported for work in collared t-shirts and casual slacks while I went to work in long-sleeved shirt, lean tie, slacks and knitted vest in monochromatic blue. But basically, people reported to work just to complete the 40-hour week requirement. But in my case, I simply forgot to wear something less serious.

It was also the office-wide immunization day for Hepatitis A & B. And Wowwww  AWWWW Awww. I was shot with Recomax (for Hep B) on my right arm and Avaxim (Hep A) on the other arm. The vaccine made my arms numb for a while.

That night, my partner and I met up with Bridget and Jher at an italian pasta/pizza resto. Fanatical teacher even caught up with us at a coffee shop in Greenbelt 3. We get to talk about Pinoy movies (Temptation Island), Vilma S and her Bear Bran…. Deee thing, beauty queens, Kuya Germs and his That’s Entertainment, etc. It was an interesting night indeed. I enjoyed it very much.

Well today is a Saturday. I decided to slow down a bit. I needed to store energy for next week’s challenge. The first 5 days were tough for me being a corporate newbie. I expected the next couple of workdays to be tougher. J’ai la semaine suivante c’est deficile.  

First Day Merck Funk

I never thought that I could ever work in Makati as a corporate person, even if it’s just for a few weeks. I always wondered how it is to work in the business district wearing formal or business attire in offices among the high rise buildings along Ayala Avenue.

My training and preparation as a technical sales representative will start next week and it would run for about 21 days. Afterwhich, I will be deployed to Visayas and Mindanao to attend to the concerns and demands of the clients and distributors.

So it was my first day yesterday. The requisite orientation for the benefits was handled upon first thing in the morning. I couldn’t help but compare Merck with my previous job. For the benefits alone, Merck is giving more than what is mandated by law. With my previous job, not all benefits required by law was given. And with this, I was more happy.

The first day to me should be a start of something good. A different chapter to read. Another story to create. A new life to live. A paradigm shift. This job is far different from what I have been trained and exposed to. This is a new conduct of myself as a professional. This time, it is going to be a different me.

The benefits orientation was finished early. While waiting for lunch break, I thought about what I must really do. I told myself that I shouldn’t disappoint anyone. I must be productive, pro-active and progressive in this field. I really owe it to myself, to the people who opened this opportunity for me and to those who were expecting me to excel and succeed.

I thought about how important the first day was as a start of a new career. The first day is the stark realization that my life would possible change. That my future may start to unfold. That the decision I made to accept this new job has come into realization.

Life may be full of risks. I quit my post as a production manager in a petrochemical plant and took the risk of not finding a better job. I know it was a big flight towards the sky in wax feathers but I managed to find one and overcame my fear of being unemployed for so long. I came out victorious. In life, you sometimes have to let go of what you have inorder to gain something better.

Perhaps a time in Merck was part of the great design of my life. A piece of the design which I never imagined to be there. An opportunity that has come at the perfect time.

It’s almost breaktime. Time for me to start meeting people. Time to introduce myself to my officemates. Time to make new friends. Life can be so much sweeter. So much fun. So much alive. So much happier.

I’ve only just begun to learn things about the industry. This company of 340 years has a lot of things to offer. So much to learn. So many opportunities to enjoy.

Merck Just Got ME

I’m a taxpayer again. After a month and a half of exploring my options for employment, I am finally employed in a better corporation. Merck has just got Me.

This time, its no longer a Chinese family enterprise but a German company that started in Dormstadt in 1668. Merck,Inc. is one of the oldest pharmaceutical and industrial chemical companies in the world with over 60 manufacturing sites spanning 6 continents and 120 countries. It is a multi-billion euro company.

I am more than happy to be finally accepted in a company that has a clear-cut structure, a systematic approach to all things work-related and has a nice compensation and benefit program for the employees. Merck, Inc. is after all a certified ISO company.

Over and above all things, I thank the heavens and those who prayed hard for my inclusion into this company. People I know and most specially the people close to me were very happy to know that I got in.

Yesterday was my first day at work. I was nervous at the same time excited to meet my officemates at Merck. I knew a couple of people already, like my former officemate in GenChem Fred who is now handling a bunch of salespeople for the North Luzon and VisMin accounts; my schoolmate Ching; and Cha from Davao.

I also get to meet my team mates under the industrial chemicals group – distributors division. Our team is composed of very young and talkative people. I met them at lunch break and during a training session on product pricing and tactics.

I have yet to meet my boss because she was on field that day. I’m excited to meet her next week and to know from her the goals and targets for the year.

Officially, I am now in the sales and marketing field. I have moved on to another industry. This is the paradigm shift. And I’m more than happy to become a technical sales representative.

My proper training and “indoctrination” as my partner would say, will start next week here in Makati. Depending on the urgency of the deployment and the rate of my development, I may be in training for at least three weeks. But I’m also looking forward for a field experience here and around Metro Manila while I undergo my rigid training.

From this point on, my challenge is how to become effective and efficient in my job. I have to perform well and sustain my performance and start working myself up the corporate ladder.

I owe it to myself that I should do good and excel in this type of job. The demands and the challenges is as tough as managing an organization or operation. I don’t want to disappoint myself and those who believed that I got what it takes to be successful. But the opportunities for learning and growth are so much out there in the offing. These kind of opportunities motivates me to do my best.

And if I do good and become stable and secured, Merck may just be the company that will make me stay on until I retire.

BeArS ReUnItEd

February 7, 2007

I took the 9.30am flight to Manila with the eagerness to see my Brother Bear. This trip was sponsored by a german pharmaceutical and industrial chemicals company. I will be scheduled for a final interview with the general sales manager at 2pm tomorrow.

Bro Bear and I have not seen each other for a month and a half already. It was Dec 21 since we last saw each other. Bro Bear went to Dubai and spent his Christmas with his mom and sister, while I went home to Cebu for the Yuletide and also for my needed break from employment.

So this opportunity has finally arrived. Surprisingly, my PAL flight was on time. I arrived in Manila at 10.30am then I proceeded to Cavite to drop a few things like the pasalubong and Ken’s Starbucks planner.

We initially agreed to meet at Aristocrat Malate, but since he had to meet a prospective client at 9pm, I decided to wait for him at a coffee shop instead.

At Starbucks, and with the short time of waiting for my Brother Bear to arrive, some thoughts rushed through my mind. Some feelings also drawn from my eager self.

There was an overwhelming excitement to see my partner again. I was patiently waiting for him to arrive. Whenever he’s around, I feel complete. I always wanted to feel happy and complete when he’s there.

I always wanted to listen to him talk. His thoughts, his stories, his jokes entertain me without end. I wanted to laugh with him forever.

I wanted to talk to him about my plans. How I wanted to prepare things for our future. I’m longing for us to share our plans for tomorrow.

I waited for Brother Bear to come. I wanted to feel the same old feeling of happiness. I wanted to feel his arms around me. His hugs. His kisses. But I knew it would happen anytime soon.

I waited on. I scribbled my thoughts on scratch.

Then it’s 9.30pm, a man in black round tee, khakhi slacks, black chuck taylor sneakers with an olive Samsonite sling bag and dark-rimmed glasses approached me and said “Happy New Year.”

I looked up and there he was. My Brother Bear. It’s him at last. I rose up smiled.

Brother Bear and Kuya Bear were reunited. And I smiled again, thinking that we would not be lonely on Valentine’s Day after all.

Crunch Time

Wow. The past few weeks had been extremely busy. For a jobless person like me who had all the time in the world to relax and do limitless things, I realized that my time had become scarce the moment I started doing some important things. Weird, isn’t it?

For me, yesterday and today had been the busiest days for 2007.

February 5, 2007:

I woke up early for my medication. After breakfast, I had my hair trimmed at a nearby barber shop where this haircutter reminded me that I was losing hair and that my hair is thinning at the back side. Like I needed to be reminded???? For tip, I gave him 5 pesos only.

My first agendum was the Chong Hua Medical Arts Center. I was supposed to see my doctor (internist/endocrinologist) and submit the results of my ultrasound (upper abdomen) and the blood chemistry (triglycerides, cholesterol, albumin, etc.). I had the test a few days back and the results were okay. Lucky for me, my doctor had already gone out-of-town for a 3-day convention. La secretaire informed me to come back on the 7th. But hey, I wont be here.

At the clinic, I got a call from Merck Inc, informing me of the details of the final step of my application. They already booked me a flight on wednesday. I was instructed to get the ticket from a PAL office anytime that day.

I proceeded to Ayala Center Cebu and had my pictures taken in one of the photo studios. When it was my turn for the picture taking, the frank photographer asked me blankly if I could wipe my forehead with my hanky because it was too shiny. I was caught off-guard. I mean I know that I’m balding and my hairline’s receeding. But I was just cool enough to ask for a baby powder and covered my forehead with a thick layer of Johnson’s. She was right. She made me look good in my 2×2’s and 1×1’s.

I decided to drop by the Starbucks Coffee shop. I was dying to claim the free planner for myself. You see, I have already completed all 21 stickers before January ended. After I ordered a ‘passion’ tazo iced tea and a tuna turn-over, the barrista informed me that the planners have not arrived yet. Instead, she handed me a flyer of their new Starbucks branch at Arcenas States. She also informed me that I could claim my planner there.

I was too desperate. You have to forgive me guys. I spent a lot of money and I drank a lot of coffee just for this planner. From Starbucks Ayala, I moved on to Starbucks Arcenas. Wow!!! Arcenas States is a commercial property of the Rustan’s Chain of stores. Starbucks Arcenas is actually being operated by Rustans. To me, this coffee branch is the best among the 4 branches in Cebu in terms of design and location.

Its on a corner of the Rustan’s Building. It’s elevated from the main road and is just across Convergys. A lot of tables to go al fresco and it has a balcony too. Starbucks is the first establishment you’ll see when you get off from the Banawa-Labangon road at the entrance of the commercial estate.

So, I got my planner at Starbucks Arcenas States. Later in the night after visiting my relatives at Capitol site, I went back to the very branch with dad while we waited for my sister to come off from her duty at the Vicente Sotto Medical Center. Evan dad agreed that this coffee branch was the best.

And oh, it was my Lolo Pio’s second YATAF (death) anniversary. For details on this activity, just read my previous entry: Congratulations Lolo!

February 6, 2007:

I woke up at 6 and readied myself to leave the house at 7am. I planned to take the medical exam for my Abu Dhabi application. I did not eat since 9pm yesterday so I was pretty starved when I arrived at the St. Peter-Paul Clinic at 8am. Well the clinic only opened 30 minutes after.

I waited for an hour and a half more before I was allowed to enter their laboratory rooms. I made it clear to the person in charge that I was only there for the additional exams and that I don’t need to take the basic exams again.

For the 3rd time in two weeks, blood was drawn out of my veins. For this particular blood-letting, the test to be conducted were for cholesterol, triglycerides, and lipids. I also took the ECG and audiometry tests. However, there was one particular exam that was not available in the clinic. So they referred me to Chong Hua Hospital for the spirometry test.

Off I went to Chong Hua at 10.30am. I took a cab for the medical arts center but when I got there, the doctor’s clinic hours was about to end. Plus, their spirometer was out of order, so the doc’s secretaire referred me instead to the Main building for the pulmonary function test.

From then on, things went smoothly. I was amazed of the hospital’s improved information systems. Their facilities were new and advanced, unlike some of the known hospitals here and even in Metro Manila. The results of the Spirometry test will be released tomorrow afternoon. With the spirometry test, I had finally completed the additional medical requirements for the job overseas. 

I went on with other important stuff.

My flight tomorrow will be at 9.30 am. From Manila, I will go directly to Cavite and perhaps stay there overnight. The interview was scheduled at 2 pm on Thursday. My concern for the interview was basically my attire. So off I went to the mall for a last-minute impulsive shopping.

It’s difficult to find a nice set of formal clothes for the interview. Especially that I got so little time and money to go about hunting. My definition of an interview attire is a set of long-sleeved shirt with necktie, dark pants and leather shoes. The job interview is for sales, distribution and marketing so might as well prepare an ensemble fit for a salesman.

So I got myself a long-sleeved shirt from VanHeusen (because they got a nice small-sized shirt for me… you just have to believe me na lang), a slim dark blue tie, a dark blue flat-front trousers and a nice leather sling bag from MEMO (I intentionally bought this so that I don’t have to carry a plastic case for my application documents). These things I bought plus 3 white undershirts all under 2 hours. I even managed to buy some local deli’s for pasalubong.

Now I am at home, busy finishing this blog entry because in a little while, I’m going to start packing for my trip tomorrow. Time is ticking. My time is limited na. This is crunch time folks. Wish me luck for this job interview. Later everyone!

Congratulations Lolo!

My grandfather Pio has been “living” peacefully in the garden for 2 years now. He has become comfortable sleeping under six feet of earth.

Today is Lolo Pio’s 2nd death anniversary!

I remember how it felt when a close relative was being given the final blessing before he was laid to rest forever. Lolo Pio was the second person close to our family who passed away. The other being my uncle (Felma’s brother) who passed away several years ago due to complications of diabetes.

I wasn’t able to attend Tito Eyong’s wake or burial. But it was in Lolo Pio’s wake, interment and burial that I get to experience the entire ceremony. The whole process made me feel so vulnerable and weak. Lolo Pio made me feel the pain and the sadness of having to lose someone so close to me.

Lolo Pio was my dad’s father. He was battling a lot of illnesses before he succumb to myocardial infarction (heart attack) at the age of 74. He was hypertensive and was on medication for so many years.

Daddy took charge of Lolo Pio’s medication and treatment ever since he retired from his job at the printing press. I was so proud of my dad for taking care of my grandparents. My Lolo and Lola were so lucky that they got Santiago for a son. It was Dad who helped Lolo Pio extend his life to 74 years and 9 months

Yes, Daddy was there with Lolo Pio until the very end. I was not with him when he died. Me and the prodigal daughter were not with him on his last day.

It’s still a lingering thought. What would I feel if I were around at the time of the heart attack? What would I do to stop Lolo Pio from dying? Where would I go to seek help? To ask doctors to do their best to save my grandfather’s life? How would I react when the doctors shook their heads in surrender? How would I react when my lolo surrendered his fight for life?

I don’t know!

But my lolo’s death made me appreciate life. His passing also triggered me to make good with what I have. He made me remember that I still have my own life to live, my loving family to keep, my wonderful boyfriend to love and share my life with, and my true friends to cherish.

For Lolo Pio’s 2nd death anniversary, we celebrated it with a simple visit to his resting place in Manila Memorial Garden (Lilo-an, Cebu), a simple dinner with Lola Gabina, the aunts, uncles, and cousins, and a simple praying of the rosary.

Simple gestures for the one who gave us our Japanese features and our smiling eyes.

Lolo Pio, We love You! Be happy wherever you are!

A Tale Between Two Nieces

Here is a pic of Shekina Effie Drew taken by the Prodigal Daughter just several days after their release from the hospital.

And here’s a pic of Kirsten Marie taken 4 months ago.

Who’s the happier baby between the two?

Shekina Effie Drew and Kirsten Marie are my little nieces. God, I’m their auntie in the closet. I’m an uncle once again.

Baby Kim resembles her mom. She got her mother’s eyebrows and eyes and skin. She got her father’s nose, lips and shape of the face.

But Little Drew doesn’t have features or semblance similar to ours. She got more of the chinese eyes, thicker upper lip, different rhino form and shape of the face. Judging from the picture, I think Drew doesn’t look like her mother. Drew must definitely look like her father. I just do not know if Drew’s father was around when her picture was taken. I do not even know if Drew’s got a father in the first place.

Whereas Little Kirsten Marie or Baby Kim has been showered with all the love she could ever get. Her loving mom and dad are always there beside her, to raise her well and watch her grow.

The Uncle and the little Baby Kim

The Aunt Bitch and the little Baby Bitch. Heheheh

Her grand parents are always near, always ready to carry her in their arms and make her laugh and cry. Her aunts and uncles are also around to supplement the love and care, to make her smile and to make her feel that a lot of people care for her.

Baby Drew is alone with her mom. Only her mother gets the opportunity to shower her with love and care, to raise her and to see her grow. She’s several thousand miles away from her grandparents, from her aunts and uncles, from her cousin Baby Kim.

Who else would take care of her when her mom decides to go back to work so she can buy her food? Who else will carry her in their arms while her mom will be busy trying to make a living?

Will she get enough love and care? Is she going to ask for more love? Is she going to ask her mom about her father? Will she ever get to know her relatives? Will her mom let her?

Will we ever get to meet Little Drew and shower her with love and care too?

Questions that needed answers. Questions that are yet to be answered.

GRRRRRRHHHH! C’est Février

February has come for the 30th time in my life and in a few days, the entire town will be painted figuratively with shades of crimson while people will make merry that the love month has finally arrived.

Le Jour d’Amour est 14 Février. C’est Le Jour des Cœurs aussi. I fear that I couldn’t be with my partner for the day of the Hearts. On Valentine’s Day.

A lot of couples are excited every February. No wonder a lot of babies are born in the month of November. But for the bears, février is just another month passing through.

I miss my Brother Bear. I miss his short grunts, his cute murmurs, his rumbles when he’s having forty winks.

He’s there, somewhere in the urban jungle while I’m here stuck in the island, several miles apart. The distance has let pass the chance for us to snuggle, to nuzzle and cuddle, unmindful of the days gone by.

No amount of phone calls or SMS or e-mails could ever make do or replace our silent yet warm embraces, our sweet kisses, our joined hands, our wonderful lives together.

No amount of gifts could ever express the care and the affection that we have for each other.

But it’s February Brother Bear, I thought it’s just an ordinary month passing through, but no, it’s another month passing by without seeing you. It is another month of longing, of wishing to be near you, of yearning for the love. February is here. We are two lonely bears wishing for a hug.

Bro Bear, this month and this distance between us are beginning to torment me like crazy. I wanted to be with you now. I wanted to see you and tell you how deeply in-love I am with you.

I wanted to scream to the world that it’s you I want to spend the rest of my life with. That I want to build a lovely house and share it with you. A house with wooden floor with walls filled with books, a warm kitchen and a studio for your craft. I want to build a house where we could grow old together. I want to start a family with you.

I’m dying Bro Bear, yes I’m dying to tell my family about us. That it would mean a lot to me if I get the chance to finally introduce you to Mom and Dad as my partner, as my love. I want to tell them that I’m proud of you and that I’m so much thankful and happy that we found each other.

With you Bro Bear, I am at peace. I could sleep like a log not bothered by any uncertainty or doubt. I have no qualms that you love me. I trust you so much. You have an undying faith in our love. It amazes me that you always make the first move to patch us up every time we fight. I see in you the passion, the great desire to make our relationship work. And I am always reminded of how truly genuine and loving you are.

Bro Bear, this month and this distance has made me want to love you even more. I miss you so much. I want to hear your GRRRRRRRRHs once again.