Gone MAD?!!?!

Eyes wide shut but then I had to force my eyes to open and free myself from slumber. Another day had come and I rose from bed, sat on the monobloc chair again and began the staring game with my laptop. It’s the last day of the month. The longest, draining and stressful day to date.

I want to spare everyone about the nitty-gritty details of the hundred and one phone calls I made today. Not to mention the fact that my boss kept on calling me every single hour and the sales manager every 30 minutes. I don’t have to discuss about the progress of the machine purchase for it didn’t happen today.

My eyes had gone sore and I had acquired butt-aches from sitting all day. My ears had gone soft and numb from listening to the conversation I had with clients and officemates. My throat has gone dry from talking to no one but my mobile phone. My head had been chopped off and my brain had already escaped my skull and had gone far away from me.

Like I said, I don’t want to talk about work for now. I just want to know if my sanity is still intact.

I’ve gone insane when I found out from mom that the house will be used as location for the film that my dad’s company would be shooting next week. The house is but simple and boring. I really don’t mind if they shoot there. I just need to know when they will do it so that I could adjust my schedule and plan an out-of-town business trip and escape the horror and embarrassment of seeing my dad act in front of the cam.

I may have gone insane when I saw my mom getting excited about the thought of a film shoot. Now she’s worried about the emptiness of the house. She began to think about her curtains, her appliances, her lawn, and the dogs. My mom produced today a yellow and tan curtain for the window of the dining area. And she made it with her bare hands.

I’ve gone insane when I watched American Idol at a local TV channel. There were Filipinos who auditioned for the seventh AI season. Who would forget the white bird man with silver cape, the fugly white feathered hat and the confidence for singing his own composition? I’ve gone mad from watching some of the bad and worst auditions for season 7.

I’ve gone crazy as I watched my phones vibrate and yell every time. I wanted to throw the phones away. I’ve dialed a lot of phone numbers, I’ve talked to a lot of people even though I was the only person in the room. I sounded like a broken vinyl. I thought I’ve morphed into a cockatoo.

I’ve gone mad. I allowed my mind to hike off. I gave it it’s long overdue break. I wanted to scream my thoughts to the house. But I’ve gone crazy.

Pass-a-Load and Reach for the Stars

I thought I could leave the house in the morning but then my ass was stuck on the monobloc chair the whole day as I deal with my work-related issues. As early as 7:30 am, I rose up from my 5-hour sleep and checked my yahoo for any important e-mails. I even skipped breakfast so that I could start carrying out all the things I needed to do in the last days of January.

My operational plan was already laid out in the open. I have given my commitment to deliver a certain amount of sales and my mind was set to extract all possible purchases from my dealers. I was expecting a huge sales deficit for January and I was even prepared to accept the possibility that I may end up short of my quota.

The first few hours went smoothly. I called up all my dealers and reminded them of their monthly commitment. I was already done sending all important documents to the office. And I was about to take a bath when my mobile phone rang. It was my boss. I had a weird feeling when I pressed the key to answer his call.

He asked me about my sales figures for January. I told him that I would be on track if and only if all items will be available at the end of the week. I didn’t say that I wouldn’t be able to hit my target. And then he mentioned about the deficit of the entire chemicals division. He said that at least a million pesos is needed to hit the target for January.

The only way to attain this target is for me to sell an instrument that’s worth 1.125 million pesos. Yes my boss said that it’s the ONLY way. I know I have some prospects for the instruments but none of them are certain enough to purchase a unit in January. I am being pressured to have any of my dealers buy the instrument this month.

To be given such colossal task is like reaching the unreachable stars. Suddenly, I was given the great responsibility to play hero to everyone. Of course it may be flattering that my bosses are pushing me to close a deal on this instrument. I was successful the last time I was faced with similar challenge. But this time, nothing is certain with the sales lead. It’s just too premature to say anything about the lead at all. I may be brewing coffee but then the coffee is not ready yet to drink. At this point, it’s just too early to harvest anything.

I was pissed when I learned from my bosses that an officemate told them about the sales lead. Sales leads are music to my boss’s ears and the leads are just about the right kick to keep them on their toes. And because my bosses found out that I got some aces under my cloak, they started to annoy me by calling me every 30 minutes.

I became an instant call center agent. I sat in front of the desktop computer, sending some mails on my yahoo. The printer was switched on, the laptop was also opened. My two mobile phones alternately rang for every 10 minutes. The landline was also ringing.  For several hours it was always like this. I was unaware of the passing of time. I almost forgot my lunch.

The day was basically tight. It’s one of the toughest work days in my life. And it’s only January. How many tough days will there ever be? The pressure is on. The challenge is already set. I got one day more. Will I be able to deliver? All I know is that I’m reaching for the stars.  

Another Rainbow

Though my birthday was yesterday, I had my birthday leave today. It was supposed to be free from any client calls or the boss’s reminders or deadlines of reports. Yet I spent half of the day in front of the computer with a mobile phone in one hand and the other tapping the qwerty. As much as I wanted to detach myself from work, it’s the work itself that kept on connecting to me. And I should have taken my birthday leave yesterday.

I went to work on my birthday, thinking that my boss was in town for my scheduled evaluation, only to be told at lunch time that it’s going to be done in Manila. I should have not made any last minute preparation for the meeting that never happened.

I wanted to free myself for a while. I just turned 30 and I needed to do some meditation and to escape from the things that were tearing me apart. I needed a chance to relax and to condition myself that the year 2008 has come and there would be tough times ahead. I needed to go somewhere. I needed to relax my mind. I needed to meditate.

And so I drove to Danao City after lunch. I had been thinking about that certain church that we visited when I was in the second grade. It had a yard with the concrete busts of the parish priests and the station of the cross. I was not so sure where that church is now. I decided to stop at this church.

This is the Church of Sto. Tomas de Villanueva. It looked old in the exterior but just like the Church of the Immaculate Conception in Oslob, the interior is very plain and modern. The parish was established in 1595, but only the façade and the tiled roof remained to validate its antiquity. It may have been a fortress church considering that it faces the sea, like almost all the old churches in Cebu.

As I took pictures of the church, an old woman with a green cap approached me. She was selling candles on a very hot afternoon. I looked around. Only a few people were in the churchyard. I was an easy target. I needed to pray.

So I bought eight candles from the peddler and told her my intentions. The woman began to move back and forth, in a typical Sinulog movement as she prayed for me and my family in front of the Church of Sto. Tomas de Villanueva. I watched her dance. I listened to her pleas (which were my intentions by the way).

 

She raised the eight candles up and swung them along with her Sinulog. I lit the candles in front of St. Thomas. I bowed my head in gratitude to the heavens for my 30^th birthday.

  

Soon after, I left Danao and drove a little further. I stopped at the town of Carmen to check on my tires. Part of my intentions was a hassle free long drive to the North of Cebu. I hit the road again and drove for about an hour and arrived at this place a little past 3pm.

I finally reached Bogo City. Relatively new, Bogo became the sixth component city of the province of Cebu last year. From my house to this city, I traveled about 95 kilometers.

I thought I could not get there at all. I’d driven through hectares and hectares of sugarcanes; I had coursed my way through the zigzagging road network and passed by a lot of hills. I kept thinking whether or not I should look for a hotel and stay for a night. I was not so sure if I should spend the night in Bogo or should I drive back to my base before nightfall. I wasn’t sure if I like Bogo at all.

I left the house without ever taking my lunch. And I was very hungry when I got there. I had been counting the Jollibee sign from Danao to Bogo. The signs on metal posts were my guide on how far I was to the fast food joint. I gobbled up a burger meal with TLC and upsized les pommes frittes and diet Coke.

After my tummy was satisfied, I went around the city and took some pictures. I was quite fascinated that there were period structure still standing. Some are even comparable to the old buildings of Carcar.

  

 

Bogo also has a lot of schools, mostly Catholic. There I saw St. Louis de Marillac College, a sister school of CIC Mandaue run by the sisters of the Daughters of Charity. I went to CIC in my elementary years. Most of the schools were clustered near the city park. The schools were also old.

 

Bogo is rather small. Most of the activities are centered near the park. Almost all of streets were made into one-way. Going around, I realized that the local government made significant effort to decongest the old district by putting up commercial buildings far from the existing mall. There may be projects up for implementation, now that Bogo is already a city.

To my surprise, I saw a rainbow in Bogo.

It caught my eye when I was about to return to Metro Cebu. I saw this arch on a hill and I turned Zeewee towards this colorful arch and went underneath it. I realized that I got inside the complex of the Church of San Vicente Ferrer.

The church seemed newly-painted. The tint is similar to the Simala Church in Sibonga. It may be old. The church was also facing the sea, and was on an elevated spot. A pair of bell tower at its sides which may be used as a watchtower. Some details of the façade may have Moro influences. But just like Danao, the interiors were already modernized.

 

I am not quite sure though how and why the rainbow arc was erected. Why is it that I had been seeing rainbows lately? Why?

 

Maybe it was a sign of calmness, of inner peace, or of acceptance of oneself. I don’t know. Je ne sais pas. I think the rainbow was the sign for me to hit the road again.   

I am 30

28, 29, and then the big three-oh! 30. Yes I now have 30 annual rings in my mid-section. I am moving on to the next phase, the fourth decade. This may be the start of the middle ages. It is that specific point in life when the body starts to have a mind of its own (as Bette Middler put it) and the mind begins to focus on something grave and somber. I am 30 years old and my time has come to live the life of a tridecagenarian.

Being thirty marks another period of my life: a period of OLD AGE. It is a span of time where I could get a great sense of inner calm and freedom. It’s a moment, a chance to make my life more stable but not totally unbound from any juvenile norm. It’s a transition from having dreams and wants, to having successes and accomplishments.

Personally, to be 30 years old is like coming to terms with what I have become, to where I’ve gone and how I spent my life so far. I’m quite certain that maturity has not dropped its anchor yet. The past 30 years has been an endless journey of unfolding, unmasking and knowing the true ME. The journey rolls over to the next 10 years and I’m not sure how long this crossing would take and I don’t know where this trip would take me. I have neither a map nor a golden compass that would help me steer my life towards a place where I ought to be. I am just a mere slave of time.

So where am I now? My life has been dependent to my job. My existence is composed mainly of my attachment to my work now as a technical representative. My work fuels my basic needs. My job is my air, my water, my physical nourishment. I believe that work gives me stability.

Bro Bear is my heart, my inspiration, my drive. The last couple of years were emotionally high for me. I think my life would just be plain and so simple without him. If I hadn’t met Bro Bear again, I would probably be the loneliest person now. I was thankful for the snickers, the dormitory; the university where we once met and started our mutual feelings. I thank the coffee shop in SM Manila; that rainy evening of May where we hugged each other tight at a corner beneath the LRT railway.

Our relationship is one of the best parts of my existence. And even though ours may not be perfect, we became strong and steady as the years pass by. We relied heavily on each other for emotional support, for care and understanding, and of course for LOVE. We may have shortcomings, we may have flaws but our being partners became a huge portion of our individual lives. And because we have become more stable with each other, we’ve gone a very long and fruitful way.

My family provides wisdom and care. In my whole 30 years, my life revolves around my family. My parents provide much of the wisdom and the advices. My sisters and my brother provide comfort and care. I have been blessed with a strong and loving family. And even though there are problems within, my family remains close-knit and firm. I could never thank my family enough.

Friends provide support and encouragement. They are my walker, my wheelchair, and my crutches. Without them, it would be difficult to face challenges or to accept the bitter portion of life. Friends help me in times of loneliness, despair and defeats. Whenever I’m alone, my friends would be around to make me happy. At times when I became desperate, they help me look for better solutions. Whenever I had fallen, my friends help me gather myself up and then, they encourage me to walk on.

But have I been happy with my life? With friends, family and Bro Bear, my life is pretty fine and happy. I should say that I have a happy life because through the 30 years of being me, problems were just mere smudges on my face where I could wipe out with the back of my hairy hands. Bouts of depression were kept at bay and frustrations were treated like flatulence that disperses at the least amount of time. Of course there are times when I feel down, lonely and sad. At times I want to cave in and give up but then I wanted to overcome every single personal trial. I have learned lessons from my down times and they made me a much better person.

Have I gone far with my life? I may have gone to places far and wide, in the confines of the Philippines. But these were opportunities attached to my job. I’ve stepped on Japan and California but then these were from a corporate program. I’ve been to wonderful beaches and exciting tourist spots. But these are not the measure of success.

My life has gone sober. It took me this amount of time to realize that life ought to be spent well in the company of those you truly care: that life should be shared with others; that life should be lived well. And whatever life’s standard would be, I have become clear-headed enough to understand that as long as I continue to be useful and productive to the people I care and love, my existence will not be put to waste at all.

To be 30 years old is a wonderful thing. I may be balding, I may have a growing tummy, I may have started to get wrinkles on my face, I may have waning eyesight but thanks be to heaven, I don’t have sagging hairy breasts. I am 30 years old and I can’t wait to experience any thing that life has to offer.

I turned 30 years old today. I thank everyone who spent effort to send greetings through text messages and those who called me up to say “Happy Birthday”. I also thank those who never forget my birthday, whether or not they greeted me. Today, I had lunch with my boss and my colleague. I also treated my dealers to a snack of ice cream and cake. I had a simple dinner with my family. To me, these are more than enough to mark my entry into my 30s.

And I just can’t wait to experience more birthdays. 31, 32, 33, . . . XX

There’s a Rainbow in Davao City

They say that there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

But in Davao City, I saw only wrought-iron gates with waling-waling.

 

There is indeed a big rainbow in that city.

 

But it can’t be seen in the sky. It’s in the People’s Park.

People’s Park is the latest flagship project of the city government that was built for the people of Davao. It’s located at Camus St. and is just across the Apo View Hotel. It’s mainly a park intended for the family as it has a lot different things to show. It has collection of orchids, bamboos, a fountain and a pond, a vast green lawn, a jogger’s area, etc.

The local government commissioned Kublai Millan to erect several sculptures and structures for the People’s Park. His sculptures are dotted everywhere in the park. Most of them were sculptures of children playing some of the common Philippine games. I remembered what Kublai Millan told me when we had a nice talk at his hotel, the Ponce Suites. He said that time, that he was trying to rush the project on that park because it was scheduled to be opened during the Kadayawan Festival.

What used to be the PTA grounds was transformed into People’s Park and it had a soft-opening last August 2007. I visited the park en route to my Saturday meeting with Global Diagnostics. Their office was just two blocks away. I thought that I could explore the park but when I got there, the park was still closed. At one end of the rainbow, a sign was placed on the gate. It said the park is open from 1PM to 11 PM. I was there at 11AM. I just took pictures of the park from the outside. I told myself that in my next visit to Davao, I must enter the park, follow the rainbow brick road and see what’s inside.

My Davao trip is my first official business travel for the year 2008. I had to be in Davao to discuss important directions and plans for my dealers there. I needed to prepare them for the new business year. Aside from the series of meetings, a training was conducted yesterday on cell diagnostics by one of my depot in Cebu. These were done to strengthen the sales force of my dealers.

It was this person who mentioned to my Davao dealers about my upcoming birthday. Since the news was out, I had no choice but to celebrate, in advance, my birthday with them. My dealers treated me and the staff to lunch, snacks and dinner.

So we had a big dinner at Ah Fat in Bajada District, just a few meters away from Victoria Plaza. There, we feasted on steamed lapu-lapu, spicy spare ribs, sautéed sea-cucumber, spinach soup and a whole lot more. It was one of the best Chinese restaurants around. The food was really, really great.

Further into the night, after splitting ways, some of us decided to see some monkeys in the city. So we trooped to Salambat at Lanang District and got there a little past 10PM. And just like in our first visit there, we were the first customers to arrive. We thought that the place would be jampacked, considering that it’s Friday but then we realized after two hours of watching the strip show that we were the only customers that night.

And since there were only a few dancers who gyrated and swung on a pole, we decided to leave Salambat and called it a day. We went home disappointed.

The celebration continued the next day. That time, it was my other Davao dealer who treated me to a birthday lunch at their house in Fortune Executive Homes. There were tasty crabs, grilled fish, veggies and seaweed salad. We capped it with double-dutch and cookies ‘n cream les petites glaces.

We had a little singing showdown after.

Then My dealer introduced me to ‘Buging’.

 

When I saw him, I was totally amused. They named him Buging Trinidad. He’s a two-month old shar-pei. It was my first time to see a dog of that kind. I tried several times to take pictures of him, I even asked my dealer’s staff to hold him for me, but these were all I got.

  

    

Few hours after, a taxi stopped in front of the house. I said good-bye to Buging and my dealers and left for the airport. I had a wonderful ‘advanced’ birthday celebration with my dealers. And it was fun.

On Monday, I’ll turn 30. My boss will be coming to Cebu and I have no choice but to work during my birthday.

Trip to UK

My sister Ellen and I decided to go to the UK today. We’ve been thinking about it through the first week of 2008 just before my sister Ken returned to her plain and country life in Cavite. Ken would love to come with us but she has to return to work next week. We felt sad that she couldn’t be with us in our UK trip.

We did not go to London or to Manchester though because we didn’t go to England. We just went to a few blocks here in downtown Cebu City for another ukay-ukay experience. Yes Ellen and I left the house early Sunday morning to look for interesting items at the ukay-ukay store.

I’ve been wishing to go visit the shops again because I was a bit bothered by prices of the RTWs lately. If you’d go to the mall or to some popular boutiques, clothing items usually cost higher than 500 pesos. Men’s clothes have become expensive and in my opinion, the price of most of these items is not convincing.

So last week, during my self-declared lunch break, I sneaked inside one of the ukay-ukay stalls along Jakosalem street and searched through the clothes on display. A sign was posted on the door which said 3 for 100 pesos. I had one particular item on my mind that I want to find in the neatly ‘hangered’ clothes. I was looking for knitted vests that I could wear to work.

Just a tip about bargain clothes though, normally the ukay-ukay shops have price schemes that are based on the length of time the clothes have been on display. Every stall posts a price scheme in one of the walls, usually in a tabulated form. When you get inside any of these stalls, search for the sign that reads “new arrival” or “25%” or ‘3 for 100 pesos’ or ‘All Items 50 pesos.” Then you look for the pricelist and determine the corresponding prices for the particular type of RTWs that you are looking.

I suggest that you ask from store attendants the day and time the new batch of clothes would arrive for this would be the best time to go to the ukay-ukay shops. If you want to find wonderful bargain clothes, wait for the “new arrival” sign on the shops.

Last week, the stall had a 50% sign on its glass wall and so I decided to stop searching. I told myself to comeback this weekend. New batches of ukay-ukay usually arrive on a Sunday.

Today, I found myself 6 knitted vests from several ukay-ukay shops in downtown and uptown Cebu. I got fixated with vests lately. I just didn’t know why but I like the thought of wearing layers and layers of clothes when I go to work. I keep on forgetting that I live in a tropical country and that the temperature in Cebu is always above 30 degrees. Ellen bought some nice tops for mom, Karen and for herself. We spent about 3 hours in UK.

Also today, I got a HIP HOP ABS DVD, the pirated kind, which I bought at Fuente Osmeña. This workout video of Shaun T. has been a big hit among the health-conscious and the wanna-have-abs people. It was my dealer who told me about the Hip Hop Abs. They got the DVD last Christmas break but they haven’t used it yet. I got curious about the disc. I want to have one too.

Since I’ve gone back to the gym last December, part of my goal is to trim down my waist. It’s a common knowledge that the abdominal muscle exercises are one of the most difficult routines. Shaun T’s hip hop moves looked so easy but once you start doing the routines, you realized that they were nowhere near easy at all.

On the side though, from Shaun T’s myspace, it says that he’s a sports science graduate, minor in dance education. He’s fond of Celine Dion, Beyonce and Mariah’s ring tones and he watches Desperate Housewives and PrisonBreak. The man is about my age but we were six packs and a dozen flabs different from each other.

I watched the DVD first. There were eight segments of the exercise. One segment takes about 25 minutes of workout consisting of several hip hop steps. After scanning all the segments, I put on my training shoes and re-positioned the mirror in the living room. I played the DVD again and started the hip hop abs training just this afternoon and I managed to finish two of the segments. I was quite shocked that the exercise made me sweat like a pig and that it completely drained me.

I am quite happy that my Sunday was very gratifying. I was able to go to UK, purchased a DVD and put it to good use by watching Shaun T and following his every hip hop step. At the end of the day, I was happier because I lost 2 more pounds.

Return to Work, Return to Homeworks

Rain came down all day to accompany my journey through the second day of the year. It’s time to go back to work and carry out the many unfinished tasks from 2007. During the quick holiday break, I made it a point not to nose-dive on my heaps of homework because that would defeat the meaning of Christmas break, right? But no matter how hard I tried to veer away from the matters of my job, my mobile phone would ring once in a while, or my annoying text alert would sound off and it would be from my officemates or my bosses, reminding me of the deadlines for my reports.

At least today, the rain and the poor weather condition in Cebu had forced me to stay at home for a while. I decided to finish up all my expense reports (fact is, I started it days before New Year’s Eve) and then I checked my email, my blogsite, my multiply account and my ehem, friendster. I spent almost the entire morning sitting in front of the computer.

I wished that I never had to do reports for now. It’s only the second day of 2008. I still haven’t recovered from the celebration of the new year. I lacked sleep and I haven’t rested enough, considering that I was awake for more than 24 hours last December 31 – January 1. The beer I drank was enough to make me forget about my homeworks. It made me forget that I had deadlines to beat.

I sometimes hate it when I’m forced to comply requirements during holidays, especially when I know that some people are having a grand time in Boracay or some great vacation spots. I hate it when I’m stuck with reports and assignments since I couldn’t take a leave (either that or I just failed to apply for a vacation leave) while my sister is off to Bohol, having a wonderful moment with friends and tarsiers. I envy those who are in their homes, in their pajamas sleeping the day away.

So I decided to take a breather and feel the rush of cold wind. The climate is cooler now as temperatures seem to drop in January. My brother and I hit the gym this afternoon. I just needed to. I was painstakingly following the routines. In every press, every curl, every stretch, and every lift, I thought about maximizing time and money. I thought about my personal and physical gain. There shouldn’t be any leeway or reasons not to. I shouldn’t be distracted.

And even though a middle-eastern-looking guy with a heavy accent and heavy scent was at the gym today, I completed my routine within 2 hours, unmindful of the offensive odor. My brother was the one distracted. He thought that a skunk happened to drop by to drop a bomb.

I sometimes imagine myself as a successful businessman, a sole proprietor. If I have money, I do want to invest in real estate, put up strings of apartments for rent. I wish I have boarding houses near big universities or colleges, or restaurants or catering business. I want to be a boss of my own company so that I do not have to make reports or homeworks during holidays and I could take any trip for pleasure and fun.

As for now, I needed to go back to my room and face the computer once again and resume with my reports. I would be submitting my assignments by tomorrow.

By the way, I ended the day at 172.  

176 in 2008

I’m going to start the New Year with 176.

For 2008, I am going to face the ultimate challenge of bringing down my weight to the acceptable level. A person with my height should have a weight that falls between 114 and 144 lbs. A body-mass index (BMI) in the range of 19 to 25 is considered normal. In other words, with my current BMI of 29, I am overweight.

So let me rephrase my opening statement with: I am overweight at the start of 2008.

I would like to be serious with this challenge. I should be. There’s a growing fear in me now that one day, my clothes will run away from me because they would no longer fit me. Lately, I’ve noticed that my denim pants are already tight on the leg, waist and butt. I couldn’t breathe properly now because my pants seem to choke me to death when I wear them. I could barely move. My denims had transformed through the months into skinny jeans, but my legs didn’t look skinny at all.

I must admit, the rapid increase in weight and size was brought about by my decision to go into sales and marketing. It was MERCK which made me what I am today, a slightly overweight individual. I am a stress-eater. I find comfort in munching food to drive my stress away. And in the sales world, there would always be dinner meetings, cocktails, celebrations and fellowships. It didn’t occur to me then that I had succumbed to my stress.

How would I go about trimming down my weight? No Idea. But I made an effort to seriously face my weight problem.

1. I already bought a bathroom weighing scale for benchmarking and monitoring purposes.

2. I enrolled myself to a fitness gym and had actually started working out for several days already.

3. I brisk-walk/jog for at least an hour, every other day. If not, I go to the mall and window-shop for 2 hours.

4. I am painfully curbing down on the carbohydrate-rich food intake. I know this is really hard. It’s difficult to say good bye to my sweet friends like the white choco mocha frapp, double-dutch ice cream, black forest cake and the sinandomeng rice.

5. I forced myself to squeeze into my pants, no matter how long it would take me to fit them.

And I do not know if I would successfully overcome this challenge in 2008 but at least I have something worthwhile to focus on. I know it would be a very long battle but then, my back is already on the wall and there’s no other option but to face it square and fair. It’s fair enough to be health conscious now because I think I am already in a very alarming stage. Nothing is fairer than making myself healthy and physically sound.

This is somewhat a resolution that I made for myself. Now I’m longing to see that moment that I’ve gone back to the size, weight and form similar to the times before I entered Merck. I may be starting the year as an overweight person. Hopefully, I would 2008 in a much lighter state.