I Have No Choice But To…

Great. I’m back into this hostage situation where I’m forced to do something that I should have done months and months ago.  Against the grain so to speak but my back is already against the wall and i’m already shoved into a corner. There’s nothing more to do but surrender and succumb to the only option available.

This is but a lame excuse for not doing it earlier, inspite of the several occasions where my physical well-being was not at all at its very best. I have never learned my lessons. And I am at my wit’s end. For several days, I’ve been suffering and enduring the pain on my left knee.  I wanted the pain to end. For at any port in a storm, I just want to walk well again.

So I have no choice but to see a physician. After lunch, dad brought me and mom to the Medical Arts Center of Chong Hua Hospital to have my knee check-up by Dr. Maambong, the wife of the Cebu Provincial Board Member Atty. Vic Maambong. She was convinced that my genou is in a pretty bad shape. I thought she would say that my knee’s a basket case but she began to check my vitals.

She ckecked on my BP – 130/100. I got high blood pressure. She made me do ECG but the results were okay, even though her assistant had encountered difficulty in putting the clips on my hairy arms and chest. Those alligator clips could not even hang on to my skin for so long. Then she gave me a list of tests to take (urinalysis, uric acid, lipid profile, etc) plus a set of x-ray for the knee and the chest.

Other words, I have to return to her clinic after all the tests were made and when all the results are available. Okay. I have no choice but to do the physical test tomorrow. If I just did it months ago then the cake’s worth its candle. But for now I just can’t do anything for toffee. I told my boss that I have to use my sick leave and go see my doctor.

I know that there’s a cloud in the horizon. I bet tomorrow, the results would be very bad. I think my uric acid will be ceiling high since I remembered that I’ve been eating beans and peanuts and chicken gizzards, pork cracklings (chicharon) and softdrinks. Though i have not experienced any difficulty in urinating, uric acid may be a tell-tale factor for my pain in the knee.

I’ve had a history of elevated cholesterol, SGPT/SGOT levels. I was not surprised at all when my doctor gave me the list of test.  Oh well. The great reveal would be tomorrow. I wont dig my heels in. My knees are way to painful to push my foot deeper into the problem. They say discretion is the better part of valour. But in my case, I had no choice but to act on the pain when it is still early and when the cure could take effect soon.

So a lifestyle check is looming. No. A change of eating habits and diet would soon be on my face. It could be easy as beans, but then it’s easier said than done. At time I was very successful with my diet, dropping pound after pound with my weight reaching the 130’s and my waistline going down to 27in. But those were several years ago. Should I start eating as a bird or should I munch like a horse?  And if I wont be able to lower my weight down, I should eat my words instead.

I need to face this demon. Even my doctor advised me to trim down and to lose weight. She said it (i mean being overweight) would be bad for my health. Having heard it, I saw my mom nod in agreement and I just kept silent and smiled.

I get the picture already. Somehow, I need to get the show on the road. I don’t want to see myself limping again. This is but a wake-up call for me. And I wish that I would never have to go back to sleep and forget about the demon that I needed to face. The ghost of chance is here and I need to maximize my time while I could still allow myself to heal.

I just want to be hale and hearty. Healthy as a horse. Hunky Dory Fine.

Pain in the Knee

Since i got back from my recent trip to Mindanao, I felt an excruciating pain in my left knee. It’s something that I have never felt and experienced before and I wondered if it was caused by the bumpy bus ride from General Santos City to Davao. It got too painful when I took the Davao-Cebu flight last friday.

I went out of the airport limping, and my dad saw me walking slowly while I drag my left foot step by step. I just continued to walk towards the car and I saw dad’s puzzled face, perhaps he wondered why I got a terrible walk.

In spite of the pain, i still conducted field work and met my dealers in Cebu City. As the time progressed, the pain got even worse. It hurt so much that at the end of the day, I could barely move my leg. I could no longer drag my left foot along.

Nevertheless, I still went to the pre-wedding party of a high school batchmate and sang like crazy just to forget the pain on my knee. I sang for an hour but then the pain reminded me that i had limited movement and so the entire time in the videoke joint, I was just sitting on the sofa.

I woke up the following day hoping that the pain and the discomfort had evaporated. I was frustrated because it got even worst. Aside from the pain, I could already see some swelling and my muscles were not functioning anymore. It took a lot of strength to endure the pain as I flex and bend my legs. Rising from bed or from a chair was a herculaenean task and going up and down the stairs was like rolling a big boulder up a hill.

Still I went out of the house and attended my french class in the morning. I decided to leave ZeeWee in a Carwash joint and I hailed a cab for Les Amis. The guard at Les Amis de la France was also puzzled when I got off the cab. He stated the obvious saying “injured ka sir” to which I just nodded in confirmation. People in the building looked at me in pity and I just humbly climbed the long flight of steps towards ma la salle de classe.

Limping still, I rushed out of the class after lunch, claimed ZeeWee from the carwash and went home to change in time for my classmate’s church wedding. I had a part in the holy matrimony as I was tasked to light the candle for the wedding couple. I felt that it was the longest walk I made. Walking towards the altar where the candles were placed was like walking for a thousand miles with a big load over my shoulder. I didn’t want people to know that I was hurting so I pretended to walk straight and lit the candle without a grimace on my face.

But deep down, it hurt so much. I wanted to scream from the pain as I made the steps from the altar. i wanted to scream to the heavens. I asked them for mercy. I could not even kneel and seek help. 

I experienced difficulty in driving ZeeWee from the church to the reception. I could barely move my left leg to push the clutch pads. It was a huge task of getting in and out of the car too. My left knee could no longer support my weight.

The reception went well. My knee did not. As I reached home, I decided to spend the weekend by nursing my wound.

Sunday came and so did the swelling.  I decided to apply hot presses on my left knee. I did it in alternate with ibuprofen and pain killer ointment. Sunday was not a day of rest but a time of torture and grief. My sister, a nurse, came by and saw my terrible state. She checked my knee and instantly told me that I was suffering from arthritis.

I thought that it was arthritis too. I saw no bruises or dark spots on the knee. I could only see swelling and the difficulty of movement. Yes maybe its arthritis since I’d been eating a lot of beans and legumes and stuff. Or maybe because I’d grown big and heavy that my weight could not be supported by my legs.

So what must I do? Should I be choosy now on the food that I’d eat? Should I exercise more often? Should I reduce weight and be cautious of my actions?

I decided to spend Monday at home. My knee was acting like crazy and the pain was driving me nuts. Tomorrow, I asked mom to accompany me to the doctor. I may need a doctor’s help this time.

Ng BER BER LIGHT at ng BER BER SOON

Ber Ber months are here. Ang bilis ng panahon. Sa sobrang bilis, di ko man lang namalayan na halos 20 months na ako sa tinutuluyan kong trabaho. Di ko rin pansin na walong buwan na ang natapos sa 2008 at ngayon ay Setyembre na. September, the start of Pinoy’s Christmas season.

Nasa Cagayan de Oro City ako ngayon. Nabigla lang ako kaninang umaga nang binati ako ng kasama ko sa trabaho ng “Merry Christmas.” Sabi niya, nagsimula na raw ang pasko.

“Ang aga naman,” sabi ko sa sarili. Naalala ko tuloy ang mga inaanak ko at mga kaibigan na dapat bibigyan ng regalo sa Disyembre. Hay. Christmas nga naman ay dumarating ng BER BER soon. Di malayo na magkakabit na naman ng mga ilaw sa mga bahay-bahay. Meron na namang mag-aassemble ng Christmas tree at mga palamuti na itatayo o ikakabit sa loob at labas ng bahay.

Andiyan na naman ang mga makukulit na mga bata na paulit-ulit na pupunta sa bahay para magkarol at humingi ng kung anu-ano. Magsusulputan na naman ang mga pulubi at mga madudungis na mga homeless na kakatok sa mga pinto o sa mga gate ng bahay at humingi ng pagkain o pera.

Sa mga pampublikong sasakyan, andiyan na naman ang mga nagpapanggap na preachers na nangangaral at namimigay ng mga flyers at sobre upang humingi ng konting donasyon na iaalay para sa mga kapansanan. Magsisimula na ring itugtog ang mga Christmas songs sa radio at muli na naman tayong mag-sing along sa kantang “Pasko na sinta ko…”

Magkakaroon na muli ng mga lanterns at lights sa sidewalk. Bawat barangay ay magkakabit ng mga palamuting pampasko, gamit ang pera ng bayan. Magtatalbugan na naman ang mga magkalapitbayan at liliwanag na naman ang mga kalsada at daan. 

Tingin ng iba sa pasko, isa itong malaking negosyo. Oo nga naman. Ang Pasko ay isang magandang pagkakataon upang kumita at magkapera.

Hmmm. Teka, mag-uumpisa na rin ata ang Ramadan ng mga kapatid nating Muslim. Abala din sila sa kanila pagsasakripisyo.

Pero karamihan sa atin ay abala na rin sa pag-aabang ng mga SALE. Pansin ko naman na halos lahat ng malalaking shopping malls ay magkakaroon ng midnight sale sa weekend. Pag-alis ko sa Cebu, halos sabay ang mga malls na mag 3-day sale. Siguro, papalitan na lahat ng mga stocks na hindi nabenta ng ilang buwan. Sigurado na magpapalit na ng stocks para sa darating ng Pasko.

Siyempre ayaw kong makipagsabayan sa mga matatakaw sa mga murang bilihin. Wala rin naman akong oras para makipagsabayan sa kanila. Pawis at bugbog lang ang aabutin ko. At kahit na may oras ako para bumili, hahayaan ko na lang muna silang magpatayan over some cheap pantalon at t-shirt.

Type na type ng pinoy ang mga ganitong eksena. Ewan ko ba at bakit nababaliw ang halos lahat ng mga Pinoy sa mga midnight sale at kung anu-ano pang sale sa mall.  Eh Cheap lang naman siguro tayo. Kung pwede pa ngang tawaran ang presyo ng 3 for 100 na XXXlington na medyas, gagawin natin.

Pag may SALE sa mall, siyempre meron din traffic sa labas ng gusali.  At siyempre, masasaya ang araw ng mga taxi drivers. Medyo delikado nga lang kasi baka may mag-isip na magpasabog ng mall. Hay. Laking gulat ko lang na habang ginagawa ko ang blog entry na ito ay tinawagan ako ni Bro Bear upang sabihin sa akin na meron na namang sumabog na bomba sa Digos City.

Hay. Pupunta pa naman ako ng Ozamis bukas at madadaanan ko ang mga bayan na sinira ng mga galamay ng MILF. Siguro okay nang daanan ang Kauswagan, ang Bacolod, Maigo at Kolambogan. Hindi na siguro mapanganib ang mga bayan na ito. Pano na lang kaya ang Pasko sa mga lugar na ito?

Saka ko na lang siguro isipin ang Pasko.