I Promise to Break my Promises

C’est Janvier. I am contemplating about enrolling into the second module of French at Les Amis de la France. I met my former classmate at a restaurant today and he said that he’s still thinking about enrolling since he has been very busy with work and stuff. My work has also kept me busy the last few months. I do wish I could still squeeze in this foreign language class this year, even if it takes me to block all mornings of my Saturdays. 

I would not want to put to waste the things I have learned at Les Amis de la France. I thought of it as a sweet torture. I remember that in my Saturday class last time, I often found myself in awkward situations. I often get my tongue caught between my teeth and the nasal sounds that I generated were often got laughed at. 

People may ask me if enrolling to a French class is part of my resolution for 2009. Maybe. But it’s not the only thing I had in mind. There are so many things that I want to happen this year. I put pressure upon myself now because some of these things did not happen last year though I made several attempts to make them happen. They just did not materialize in 2008. 

I make personal resolutions in the hopes of ever realizing it within the year. But I never reached to the point of being too serious about the whole promise-to-myself thing. There are just too many distractions and too much work. The demands of my job often consume a huge chunk of my time. 

It’s always during Janvier that I get to the point of weighing things again and again. Maybe I should not make any more resolutions. Most of them did not happen anyway. I may just have to go about my activities, day after day, focus on my work and not on stupid diversions or past times. This way, I let myself in for some surprises.

Definitely there would still be some travels and visits to places that I’ve never set foot in my entire life. I am looking at the opportunities to visit Zamboanga City, Palawan and Siquijor. Developments at work would require me to visit Misamis Occidental more often now. I would also be visiting Tacloban more than ever because of a new distributor for the area. 

I do not have updates on the friends I made through the years, most especially those I forged in Cavite when I used to work at the petrochemical plant. I also miss a few of my friends in Imus, in Camarines Norte and in my socio-civic group Rotaract. This year, I hope the heavens would allow me to meet them again. At least at the start of the year, we had a small reunion among high school mates. It was nostalgic, rich in issues but fun. 

I’m at a coffee shop again. I do not know how much coffee I would drink for 2009. I had been to a lot of meetings in coffee shops last year. I lost count of cups of mocha frappes and lattes I ordered as well as the oatmeal cookies that I munched. It would still be the same this year. My self at a coffee shop in Cebu or Davao or Bacolod or even in Butuan, the cafés would still be a venue for the passing of time, my own time. 

Not to forget the dinner meetings, parties and eat outs, it’s alimentation galore. Food remains as my killer weakness. I would love to see myself less distracted by chicharon, by spicy fried chicken, by an 18-inch pizza and by CnT Lechon. Steamed Rice is also a killer. I hope I snap out of the carbo-cholesterol indulgence. 

In shying away from the things that would bloat me the most, I wish my physique would improve. I was too lenient on exercising. I limited myself to a plain hip exercise and brisk walk around a block at I.T. Park. Other than those mentioned, I was less serious about going to the gym to do some presses and curls. I had a pair of dumbbells at home but I just let them accumulate rust and cobwebs at the corner of my room. My excuse was always because I was busy with work. 

Last year, for lack of commitment and determination for the resolutions to materialize, I did not make promises to accomplish what I promised to do. It had left me in a terrible physical state. I did not have control and I broke the promises I made. Broken promises led to an increase in waist size and a whole month of medication for liver ailments and gouty arthritis.

Wish I could bring out the commitment and the will to accomplish the things I promised this year. I know what it felt like to fall short of the expectations and certainly I would not like to experience it again this year. Who knows what I would need to stop these promises from breaking?